FATHERS DAY 2013
Father’s day sure got here quick. It has almost been 9 months since sweet Maura was here and gone. Man does time go by fast. It is amazing how it seems so long ago and like yesterday all at the same time.
I am happy to still be here. I didn’t think I would be able to make it through almost 9 months ago. I thought I would never laugh, never smile, never feel like living again. Most days I do all three. I still though, every day, think of my sweet Maura Lynn. There are a lot of days where I feel like I don’t think of her enough. It’s a scary feeling some days like I am a bad daddy for not thinking of her every second all day long. I know that’s not reality, but still doesn’t change the fact of how I feel.
Between worrying about Maura’s mommy, work, friends, anxiety attacks, infertility, the future…..I wonder what the future shall bring us. Will I be able to provide for my wife, for Maura’s Mission, for myself, mentally and emotionally? All I can say is…thank God there is a God.
I really never anticipated this new reality, nor should I have. Some days this NEW normal just seems so damn unfair. Why did our daughter die? Why do we have to live with this feeling? Are we ever going to be able have another child? Am I ever going feel normal again? Where did all the people in my life go?
I have come to find out that we are not alone in this journey. We have joined the exclusive club that nobody wants to join, of bereaved parents. The friends and bonds are amazing. Without these friends I don’t think I could have made it through. Without organizations like:
Still Project, OC Walk To Remember, Still Standing, Return To Zero, KV BIJOU, Maurasmission.com, Giving Dads: To The Brink and Back, Farley-Kluger Initiative, this is to just name a few. Without organizations like these there would be a whole bunch more people suffering without any hope and knowledge of child loss.